Calming the Storm

Then he got into the boat and his disciples followed him. Without warning, a furious storm came up on the lake, so that the waves swept over the boat. But Jesus was sleeping. The disciples went and woke him, saying, "Lord, save us! We're going to drown!"
He replied, "You of little faith, why are you so afraid?" Then he got up and rebuked the winds and the waves, and it was completely calm.
The men were amazed and asked, "What kind of man is this? Even the winds and the waves obey him!" Matthew 8:23-27

I was reading this passage the other day, and my immediate reaction was anger towards the disciples. How could they be so faithless? They had Jesus in the boat with them. Of course they were going to be ok. The Lord quickly broke my pride as I realized that, more times then not, this is the way I live my life.

So often I think that Jesus is sleeping on the bottom of the boat. My life is being tossed about by the waves of the storm, and I feel like I'm doing all I can to save myself from drowning. Jesus doesn't care about me. He's asleep and leaving me to fend for myself. Since Jesus is so unaware of my problems, I obviously need to wake Him up and clue Him in on my life...right?

So I run to Him, accusing Him of not helping me, not caring about what is going on. How can He be asleep as my life is in shambles? As I angrily wake Him up and scream and Him to help me, Jesus calmly looks at me and says "Emily, you of little faith, why are you so afraid?" And in His perfect timing, He gets up and calms the storms and winds of my life.

"What kind of man is this? Even the winds and the waves obey Him." He is a God of faithfulness. One that never leaves us or forsakes us. I need to quit living my life thinking that Jesus is asleep and not concerned about me. I serve a faithful God. He has proven Himself time and time again. I need to trust that He will be faithful to keep His promises.

Great is Thy Faithfulness

I really thought that this summer would be it. The summer when I got my life fully back on track for the Lord. I slacked off toward the end of last semester, and I always justified it by thinking that this summer I would figure it all out. I mean, it makes sense, right? I am spending my summer working in the church. I am surrounded by some of the strongest Christians I have ever met, and I teach kids about God's love all day. I should be growing. In should be more in love with God then I ever have been...

But I'm not. In fact, spending consistent time in the Word has been the most challenging part of my summer. Taking out time for prayer has not been easy. Even engaging in conversations about the Lord hasn't been my favorite thing to do. I've been learning (and this probably sounds really obvious) that just because I'm in ministry doesn't mean that my relationship with God will be elevated. Just because I'm emptying myself out to all of these children doesn't mean I will automatically be filled.

It's so easy for me to justify skipping out on my quiet time. I spend all day in the church, with kids, teaching Bible lessons...that should count, right? I'm so exhausted when I get home or when I wake up. I just don't want to read my Bible. I'm sure I looked at a few verses today... this is what my mind does every time the Holy Spirit convicts me. I start rationalizing and justifying. And I've gotten really good at it.

But God is always faithful.

Praise Him for that! I am making excuses about spending time with my Father, my Creator. How much more selfish could I be? Yet, He is always here, waiting for me to fall back into His loving embrace. The devotional that we planned for tonights Net meeting is focusing on the compassion of God. This morning, we all spent about an hour talking about this attribute and how it effects our lives. It's something I don't think about enough. Everything about God screams compassion. Why am I constantly Hosea's wife...a whore, running away from my first love? Thankfully, I serve a compassionate God, who is consistently alluring me and bringing me back to Him, just like the Lord had mercy on Israel. He heals my waywardness and loves me freely.

"Come, let us return to the Lord;

for he has torn us, that he may heal us;

he has struck us down, and he will bind us up...

...Let us know; let us press on to knowthe Lord;

his going out is sure as the dawn;

he will come to us as the showers,

as the spring rains that water the earth."

-Hosea 6:1, 3